Nothing Left to Lose
by middlecyclone
Summary: R/Hr. Ron was standing outside of the Burrow in the misting rain, holding a small ice-cold glass of firewhiskey. He wasn't thirsty, but he didn't care because at least he was doing something. And the firewhiskey was warming his chest...slow and steady.


**Nothing Left to Lose **  
_POST-DEATHLY HALLOWS.  
R/Hr Fanfic...after The Battle._

Ron was standing outside of the Burrow in the misting rain, holding a small ice-cold glass of firewhiskey. He wasn't thirsty, but he didn't care because at least he was doing something. And the firewhiskey was warming his chest...slow and steady. He was glad it was raining because he thought it should always be raining when there was a funeral. There most certainly had been a funeral that morning. And it was still raining. He was glad it hadn't stopped yet.

Fred's funeral was quiet and short. Ron sat in between his mom and George. Hermione and Harry were seated at the end of the row, their heads bowed. Once, his eyes met Hermione's and he smiled instinctively. She managed a small smile in return, before turning and sobbing into her small hands.

When Fred's casket was lowered into the ground, George took two small bird-shaped firecrackers from his pocket and on command, they flew into the sky, whizzing and burning and making a flashing red W above them. George laughed through tears and the entire Weasley clan hugged and cried for what seemed like weeks, breaking apart only when George's tummy rumbled so loud, Molly declared it time for a proper lunch.

Everyone had gone inside. Ron poured himself a glass of firewhiskey and stepped back out into the rain. Hermione touched his shoulder when he was walking out. She asked if he wanted to be alone. He told her he did...but only for a moment or so. And she went back to her knitting.

"Fuck," Ron muttered under his breath. He closed his eyes slowly and sat on the wet grass next to the porch. He was crying again. After a bit, Harry sat down next to him. He hadn't heard him walk up.

"I've said it before, but I'm just so sorry. Y'know I can't help but feel like all of this is my fault somehow. Everything. All of it. And I know you keep saying that I don't need to apologize and maybe I don't...but all of you...you guys are my family." Harry said.

They sat in silence for some time. Ron cleared his throat.

"You're my brother too, mate," Ron said. Harry stood and put his hand out to Ron and helped him up. They went inside where Molly had put together an enormous feast of roast chicken, fried potatoes, corn and biscuits and practically every pie imaginable. Ron piled everything onto his plate and poured another glass of firewhiskey before taking his seat at the long, wooden table.

::

"Ron...you can say no if you want to. But I think we should go away for the night. Just us. To get some quiet. I think it would be good for us. For everyone," Hermione said, reaching for his hand. It'd been almost a week since Fred's funeral. The houseguests had dwindled down a bit. All that remained was Harry and Hermione. Bill and Fleur had returned to Shell Cottage the day before and Arthur had started back to work at the Ministry of Magic. There was so much work that needed to be done and it helped take his mind off of things for a bit.

"I think that sounds like a good idea," Ron replied, hugging Hermione around her neck. It was the first time he'd looked forward to anything in weeks.

::

Hermione was always so good at remembering things and packing. She got all of their stuff together and asked him if he was ready. All Ron did was stand next to her and she took his hand and they disapparated to a patch of green grass under a canopy of some of the tallest trees Ron had ever seen. There was a lake not too far from where they were standing, and the sun was setting, seemingly putting itself out...slowing sinking into the water. The sky was bright orange, blue, purple and yellow all at once. It was so gorgeous, Ron looked away. Hermione kept looking out onto the water and took her hair over her shoulder, twisting it into one long braid. She pulled a small yellow ribbon from the pocket of her jeans and tied it there on the end.

"I can't believe you kissed me all because of the bloody house elves," Ron laughed and looked over at her.

"It wasn't just because of the house elves, Ronald. It was everything. Don't be silly," she said.

"I never thought you'd ever want to kiss me. Honestly, I used to think you had a thing for Harry," he admitted. He'd never been able to say that to her before.

"Harry?" Hermione said, as if it were the most ridiculous thing anyone had ever thought to bring to her attention.

"I'm daft, Hermione. It's not like I've ever had a girlfriend."

"Lavender Brown!" she said quite loudly.

"Lavender Brown was not my girlfriend," Ron replied quickly, shaking his head back and forth.

"You sure fooled me!" Hermione said.

"You snogged Viktor Krum!" Ron said quickly, his face getting red and hot.

"Ronald, I only went to the Yule Ball with Viktor because you wouldn't ask me. I was trying to make you jealous. I only snogged him because no one had ever tried before. I didn't know what I was doing."

"I was jealous. I still am, about that. Every time I see his stupid face I wanna bash his brains in. But he hasn't got any brains has he? Stupid, filthy prat..." Ron kicked at the grass beneath him and shoved his hands in his pockets.

Hermione put her hands on his shoulders and looked in his eyes.

"I don't give an eff about Viktor Krum, Ronald. You're not listening to what I'm not saying."

"What you're not saying?" Ron said.

"I do love you. Is that plain enough for you? My goodness," she took her hands off of him and put them onto her hips. She stood back and turned her head, as if doing so gave her a better look at him.

"It's plain," he said, smiling. His face lit up completely.

"Are you sure you understand me now? You're not confused are you, Ronald?" Hermione teased.

"I love you. I mean, I do. I mean, I have. For like, a pretty long time," he fumbled.

"So there. We've said it," she smiled, "Let's have a go at putting up the tent."

::

After dinner that night, inside the tent...Hermione laid down a blanket. It was brown and grey and Molly had knit it for Ron on his last birthday. She placed a small jam jar of blue fire on the table beside them. Hermione curled up on the blanket and Ron crawled behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist.

"Is George going to be alright, Ron?" Hermione asked, without looking at him. But Ron could tell she was already crying.

"No. I don't think so, to be quite honest. But he'll figure something out. They finished each other's sentences, y'know? It's never going to be alright, I don't think. But George'll tough it out. It's what he does. I'm looking forward to getting closer to him, actually. I'm going to go work with him at the shop, too," Ron said all of this quietly, letting his voice trail off. When he stopped talking, he could only hear Hermione breathing and the faint hoot of an owl somewhere in the forest. He thought maybe she was sleeping, but she turned to face him now. She turned to face him and for the very first time since the Battle at Hogwarts, she kissed him.

She kissed him and he kissed her back and it was as if he'd never kissed anyone before. Her hair had fallen down and he put his hand underneath it all, tugging at it and kissing her even harder than he already was.

He kissed her neck and she made a noise he'd never heard her make before. He kissed her neck again and again and he was on top of her now, kissing her neck and her mouth and her ears and he reached down to pull her t-shirt up. She was so warm and she kept kissing him and he kept kissing her and he couldn't stop and didn't want to try.

She took her bra off for him after he tried to, unsuccessfully. The blue firelight danced in the jam jar beside them and he reached to pull his shirt over his head with one hand. The other hand was in Hermione's hair, on her breasts, in her mouth. He tossed his shirt away and she rolled atop of him. Breathing heavily, he closed his eyes and opened them and she was unbuckling his brown jeans. She was unbuckling his jeans and he gasped without knowing it. He closed his eyes again and this time when he opened them, she was putting him in her mouth. He gasped again and at first, he writhed to get away from her, but she wouldn't let him move. It felt like fire pulsing through him. He couldn't believe it was actually happening. He couldn't believe any of this had actually happened. The Battle at Hogwarts, all those people dying, everything. And now, after all of this time, Hermione's mouth was finally on his cock. This same cock that he had wanked himself...so many times, dreaming and pretending that his hands was hers. When she pulled away, he pushed her back a bit and got on top of her. He undid her jeans and slid her ruffly knickers down and off. He kissed her down there. He'd always wanted to and now he actually was. He wanted to taste her and smell her forever. She moaned and twisted and put her hands in his hair, tugging and pulling so hard, he buried his face even deeper into her, for relief.

Ron pulled himself on top of her now.

"Are you sure this is okay?" he asked with the bit of breath left in him.

She nodded quickly, bit her bottom lip and kissed him hard.

"I've never done this before," he said into her mouth.

"Me neither," she said back into his.

"Well, I didn't mean...I mean, I didn't think you had done this before, or anything, either. I know you haven't...well, I figured you hadn't. You're a good girl. You're not like the lot of them. And it's pretty obvious that I'm not shagging every girl I see, like some of our mates. You're the only girl I've ever wanted to shag, actually. And it's not like I thought about it all the time or anything..." Ron couldn't stop talking. He straightened his arms and looked down at her, underneath him.

"Ronald?" she said gently.

"Um yeah. Yeah?" he said nervously.

"Please shutup," she replied.

"Okay," he said sweetly, knowing she was right. She was almost always right and he used to hate it. Now it was one of his favorite things about her.

And now he slid inside of her and she gasped and grabbed the blanket in her fists, bending her knees and digging her heels into the soft earth beneath them. She was moving underneath him, sometimes breathing heavily and sometimes taking in sharp, quick breaths. Then she arched her back and made these little kitten noises and it blew his fucking mind. He came quickly and apologized for it.

"I'm sorry. You look so beautiful. I got so bloody nervous...," Ron pulled some of the blanket over him.

"I love you," was all she said. She curled next to him and buried her face in his neck.

"I love you, Hermione."

Ron wrapped the blanket around the both of them. He stared into the enchanted firelight, still brilliant and blue. She was with him and they were safe and warm. Everything felt so different. They weren't running from anything anymore. For the very first time in a whole year, they both slept soundly, not waking until well after sunrise.


End file.
